Week 11 of 2013

                         Third week of march, its been a weird week for me as I had some good moments and some  really bad moments. If you ask me I would love to listen to good news before the bad new because I would still have something that will cheer me up :) First of all I was really happy to score 96 for my modern math exam which is really easy and I could have gotten 100 for it but because of a silly mistake I could not get it. I was really happy when I notice my studying and doing all my homework is paying off as I kept on getting better results ( better than my form 4 results) sadly I could not think of why am I failing my chemistry the only subject I love more than maths and of all subjects I failed that instead of failing sejarah .My sister was really happy when she heard I almost got 100 for my maths and started to pass for my sejarah and I notice she talks to me because she is lonely there when all her friends are graduating and starting their carriers and I don't mind having someone to come back to that wants to hear about my day then my parents kept on badgering me on my results and why am I not doing better (their expectations 80%). And now of course the bad news which of all this is my brother he and his nonsense. if you ask him what does he call studying he would say studying at least 2 hours or more and doing homework everyday. But when my mom starts to scold him on why he is not studying he says he did when they were out : but of course boys always play computer when they can and when their parents are out. So of course my parents know that and brother knows that but my father has to always start to complain on why your little brother is trying and why are you not trying and my brother defends himself with saying all the bad things I do which is watching movies on my Ipod (during the night) which he says during when they go out and other things . It just really upsets me and spoils the whole weekend for me and especially when its on Sunday and I cant concentrate when tomorrow is a school day and I just build a wall and just stop talking to parents as they kept on going about why I'm not studying when I was studying right in front of them. The pain and anger keeps boiling inside of me and I just start to avoid it. I just notice something really weird , I saw this somewhere it  says " we are afraid to change because will put expectations on ourselves that is why we try our best to destroy it so we wont have to deal with it" it goes something like that and I can relate to that.But I need to move on and concentrate for my big final which is not far away :) thats all for this week see you next week .